How to Use a Dildo: Tips for Beginners
So you have chosen your first dildo, it has arrived in discreet packaging, and now you are standing there wondering where to begin. That moment is more common than you might think, and there is absolutely no right or wrong way to start. The most important thing is to feel relaxed and curious. This guide shares practical, friendly tips on how to use a dildo so your first session feels comfortable, enjoyable and entirely your own.
Prepare Before You Begin
A little preparation makes everything easier. Start by creating a calm, private space where you will not be interrupted, and have everything within reach: your dildo, some lubricant and a towel if you like. Clean your toy with warm water and a dedicated sex toy cleaner before you begin, even if it is brand new, so you know it is fresh and ready.
Relaxation is the single biggest factor in comfort. When you are tense, the muscles down there tighten up, which makes insertion harder and less pleasant. Take a few deep breaths, run a warm bath if that helps, or spend some time on general foreplay with yourself first. The more relaxed you are, the easier and more enjoyable the whole experience will be.
Lubricant Is Non-Negotiable
If there is one golden rule of using a dildo, it is this: use lubricant. Even a smooth silicone toy can drag without it, and friction is the fastest way to turn pleasure into discomfort. A water-based lubricant is the perfect companion for silicone toys because it is safe on the material, easy to clean and wonderfully silky. Apply it generously to the toy and to yourself, and do not be shy about topping up during the session.
For anal play, always switch to a dedicated anal lubricant, which is thicker and designed to last longer. For more on choosing the right bottle, our guide to water-based, silicone and oil-based lubricants explains the differences in detail.
Start Slow and Listen to Your Body
When you are ready, hold the dildo at the base and rest the tip against your opening, letting your body get used to the touch before applying any pressure. Gently rock or press rather than thrusting straight in. Let the toy find its own way, using your hand to guide it at a pace that feels good. There is no time limit and no target: some sessions are slow and exploratory, and that is exactly right.
Pay attention to how it feels. A slight fullness is normal and often pleasant, but sharp pain is a signal to stop and readjust, add more lubricant or switch position. You can also try placing the toy and moving your hips against it instead of moving the toy itself, which gives you total control over depth and rhythm. The Loving Joy 7 Inch Dildo with Balls is a great beginner toy for this, with a smooth shape and a comfortable base that is easy to grip.
Try Different Positions
Position changes everything. Lying on your back with your knees bent is the classic starting point and gives you full control and visibility. On all fours changes the angle and depth. If you have a toy with a suction cup, like the Loving Joy 6 Inch Suction Cup Dildo, you can mount it to a smooth surface and ride it completely hands-free, which many people find brings the most intense sensations.
Combining your dildo with clitoral stimulation is how many people reach their most powerful orgasms. You can use your fingers, or add a separate clitoral vibrator while the dildo is in place. There is no rule that says you have to use a dildo on its own, and blending internal and external stimulation is a wonderful way to explore what your body loves.
It can also help to think of your first sessions as experiments rather than performances. Some days you will want slow, gentle insertion with lots of pauses; other days you may feel ready to try a little more movement. Neither approach is better, and both teach you something about how your body responds. Keep a mental note of the positions, angles and speeds that feel especially good, and repeat them next time. Over a handful of sessions you will build a small personal map of what works, which makes each subsequent use more enjoyable and far less uncertain.
Do not be surprised if your preferences change as you gain confidence. The toy that feels perfect in week one might become the toy you want to build on in week four, and that is a sign of healthy exploration, not a problem with the toy. Many people find themselves adding a second, slightly larger or differently shaped dildo to their collection precisely because their first toy taught them what to look for. Whatever happens, the only measure of success is how good it feels to you.
Aftercare and Cleaning
After your session, take a moment to enjoy the feeling and then clean everything up. Wash your dildo with warm water and sex toy cleaner or mild soap, dry it thoroughly and store it in a pouch or its box, away from direct sunlight and other silicone toys. Cleaning straight after use keeps your toy hygienic and ready for next time. For a full rundown, our guide to cleaning, sanitising and storing adult toys is a great reference.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does it hurt the first time I use a dildo?
It should not. Discomfort usually means you need more lubricant, less speed or a smaller size. Relax, go slowly and stop if you feel any sharp pain.
How much lubricant should I use?
More than you think you need, at least at first. Apply it to the toy and yourself, and keep topping up during the session. Lubricant is the secret to comfortable dildo play.
Can I use a dildo in the shower?
Yes, if it is made from fully waterproof silicone and you use a stable surface. Shower play works especially well with a suction cup toy, but be careful with your footing and grip.
Enjoy the Journey
Learning how to use a dildo is a journey of self-discovery, and there is no rush to reach any destination. Go slowly, use plenty of lubricant, try different positions and pay attention to what your body responds to. Browse our silicone dildos and suction cup dildos to find toys that suit your pace, and stock up on water-based lubricant for the smoothest possible start.
